Got a toothbrush?
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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