I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
