i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
