things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Hippo gnu deer
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
