the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
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