I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
