I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
