the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
