As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
He shit in the fireplace
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
