She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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