U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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