haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
