My nipple is on Facebook.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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