After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
