I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Why can't burritos get me drunk
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
