I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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