Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
