Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
