my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
