At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
