Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
