if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize