never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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