My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
