i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize