So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
