Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
