Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize
