garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I think my vagina is haunted
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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