Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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