before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Found your dick twin last night
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
