You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
This house was built for laser tag.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
