Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
