he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
