grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I intend to get homeless drunk
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
