This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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