Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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