She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
