try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize