new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
