You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
