Come see our sink grown plant.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
