im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
