"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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