Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
