you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
