So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize