True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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