I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
