Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
