worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
