I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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