Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize