The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
