I wanna bring you to show and tell
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
