Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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